Contents page:

  1. How to agree
  2. How to disagree
  3. how to differ
  4. How to be interesting
  5. How to respond
  6. How to listen
  7. Questions
  8. Parallel Thinking - 6 Thinking Hats
  9. Concepts
  10. Alternatives
  11. Emotions and Feelings
  12. Values
  13. Diversions and off-course
  14. Information and knowledge
  15. Opinion
  16. Interruption
  17. Attitude
  18. Starting and topics

Some extracts:

on being right all the time…

If you insist on always winning an argument you end up with nothing more than you started with - except showing off your arguing ability. When you lose an argument you may well have gained a new point of view. Being right all the time is not the most important thing in the world and it is certainly not very beautiful.

how to be interesting…

Being interesting is much more important than winning an argument. Being interesting is much more important than showing how clever you are. If you are interesting people will want to be with you. … Most conversation and arguments strives towards certainty: ‘this is the way it is’ and ‘this is not right’… putting forward alternatives and other possibilities can make the discussion more interesting. The possibilities can be explored even if they are finally rejected,

alternatives…

Alternatives are so important a part of having a beautiful mind… … Alternative are the opposite of rigidity. Being unwilling to look for alternatives indicates a very rigid mind that does not seek a better view of the word or a better way of doing things. It is a rigidity based on arrogance and defensiveness. Alternatives are the opposite of complacency. If you are happy where you are and cannot imagine any improvement then you make no effort to find alternatives.